The Making Of A Book

 Someone that I follow in Twitter asked a question about the need of Literacy Agents in this day and age of the book world. She wanted to know if we felt that they were still needed. My response basically that since I had spent a large number of years in the book business, that I felt that they were needed once fame had hit.
Now I don’t want to put people out of work, but in this day and age of “self-publishing”, many people really don’t need agents to get their works out there. When I put together my book () I had choices on what I could do. I could of sent small portions of it to different publishers with the hope that one of them would of been interested, I could of sent it to an agent in hopes that one of them would be able to get it into a publisher, I could of gone to a place like Kinkos and had them make copies, or I could of done which I did and gone to a “print on demand” place.
Now each of these have their advantages and disadvantages, and it is really up to the author as to which way they want to try. I choose the way that I did because my title is a religious service book and where I am hoping to be able to push in places that I don’t think publishers would think of going, plus a new author has to do most of their own promotion anyway. Publishers also have the right to stop carrying the book and can make other choices that one may not like and Royalty payments aren’t always that great. But publishers can be a great help in promoting a title.
What is nice with an agent is that depending on what type of book you have, not only can they push it harder for publishers to carry, but in some cases they can help one get an author and their title into signings at book stores and other places. Agents do much of the work that some authors really don’t have the time to do. Yes it is going to cut into ones royalty, and one of the problems an author has to deal with is the fact that unless one is already well known, they won’t always have the time to really give it the full and proper attention that ones needs.

 Agents are also great in that even though you may of gotten your title edited by someone, they know editors in the book business whose job is not only to edit ones book, but they have a great idea on what sells based upon the look of a book. As much as we say “Don’t judge a book buy it’s cover”, each of us have passed by or bought a book based on the cover. One of my favorite books is titled “Coal” by J. Jason Grant. It was the cover of the book that caught my eye and caused me to buy it. When I put my own book together it took me a while to figure out what to use as the cover and in fact the new book that I am working on I am spending a good amount of time thinking about what I want to use as the cover.
With the way that things are going in that more and more books are being made for iPads, Kindles and other electronic readers, and with with the Internet making it so easy to upload ones works, agents are and will become harder harder to find as their services are less and less needed.
But what are some of the advantages of “self-publishing” and why did I choose to go the way that I did? I knew what how I wanted things in the book to be, and I really didn’t want anybody else changing things around. One of the things also is that even though one has to purchase an ISBN#, it’s ones to keep (in my case I used one from the place that I self-published through,) so if the title went from one publisher to another the ISBN# would most likely change. With the company that I went through, and also with many others, my book went onto Amazon and I was able to get it onto the Barnes & Noble website along with other places.
With fewer and fewer book wholesale and distribution companies around, along with fewer and fewer independent book stores around, getting ones book onto shelves has become even harder. I think that the best thing for a new author in most cases is for one to self-publish and to work at getting it onto Best Seller Lists, as once that happens publishers and agents will be reaching out to you.

It’s The New Cool

This is really a reply to tweet conversation I was having with @BlackGirlNerds and @GeekSoulBrother.

 The problem that has occurred with the terms Nerd and Geek over the last few years is that they have gone from being something that people didn’t want to be referred to as, to being the cool thing to be called. With it now being something that is be called is good, the term has lost it’s meaning in many ways. Another way to think about it is not long ago when one would hear the work Artist, one didn’t think of someone who was in the music business, but someone who was a painter like Monet.

 The terms began to come into fashion during the early days of the Web, as the money that programmers and computer engineers grew and grew, the stigma of being called a Nerd or a Geek began to go away. Once Urkele on Family Matters became a popular, and with all of the money that was being made in the computer industry, being a Nerd or a Geek was cool.

 With the emergence of the terms becoming popular, and people wanting to be seen as one of the “Cool” people,  the term began to be applied to other things.

 Now should the term be applied to the Black Intellectuals? It should be with some, as they really are Nerdy and/or Geeky, but sadly being looked upon as being a Black Intellectual in our society is a bad thing.  We as a race and as a society still have the mentality that was around during Slavery when Blacks were not seen as being smart, but as savages. Once we as a race embrace  Black Intellectuals in a strong way, then the rest of society will, and then the true Bleeks and Blerds will be seen again, but accepted within the race.

 So ALL, post your comments below…

Her Mother’s Eyes

 We have all heard about the different tragic shootings that have gone on over the years, from Columbine, Virginia Tech and so many others. We as a society get up in arms over the ability that the killers have been able to get the guns which have been used. But usually a few months will go buy and the furor will have basically vanished. It’s like what happens with natural disasters, where when it first happens we rush in to help, but not much later it is forgotten about and the people are left to finish rebuilding on there own. Oh yes there are those who never leave and stay until the job is done like the group Episcopal Relief and Development, and there are others, but for the most part it’s off to other things for most.

 The one thing that we often don’t hear about are the killings that happen in other places. From time to time we will hear about a killing, but for the most part we don’t. Here in this city, we had about 131 people killed in violent ways, and the saddest part is that the killings have been of those younger and younger. About a month ago, 3 people were shot outside of the building that I live in. I was home when it happened, and this wasn’t the first time that a shooting has occurred so close to where I live.

 About 6 weeks ago, I was watching the news and heard about two teenage girls who were shot at 6:30 Sunday morning, and the shooters shot them at least 30 times. I shuck my head and the feelings that we need to do something about guns in this country entered my mind again. But like many, not much later it was no longer on my mind. But this shooting turned out to be something different for me.

 I was watching the news about a week later when one of the news anchors mentioned the killings, but this time he said the names. I recognized one of the names, but I wasn’t sure it was the same person. Through some checking, it turned out that one of the girls killed was someone that I knew at one point in her life. Those feelings about gun control came back to mind as I shed tears thinking about her. Even though the two of us hardly ever talked, I had high hopes for her when she became and adult.

 When the day of her funeral came, as much as I wanted to go and support her family, I just couldn’t handle it, as I just wanted to sit in quiet and remember her, and I really don’t think that I could of dealt watching the tears of the sadness that her family as they mourned the lost of her.

 Over a weeks since then, I have gone to both church and community meetings, as I have in the past, but these times I spoke up when it was appropriate and talked about the things which had occurred, and talking about the killing of this girl (with her best friend,) and the shootings that had occurred in front of my place. I encourage people to speak up about what they had seen and heard when it comes to crime, as it will get the criminals to realize that they aren’t in a place where they will and will continue to get away with the things that they have done.

 A few weeks ago, the Bishop and the Diocese that I live in said that they were going to go to a Peace Rally in my city. It took a quick second for me to realize that it was an event that I needed to be at, not because my Bishop, The Rt Rev. Marc Handley Andrus was going to be there, but because I needed to start to stand up even more than I had, so I went.

 The group that was putting this rally on is called S.A.V.E., which is short for Soldiers Against Violence Everywhere. I thought that it would be a small group of people, but was surprise at the number of people who came out for this rally, which was about 75 people. I thought to myself that not enough people were there. This rally should have had thousands of people. Even though I wished that their were more people, I was glad that I went.

 About a week ago, I saw a notice a posting on Facebook from the group saying that they were going to hold another rally a few blocks away from where the two girls were killed. I knew that I had to go to this one as even though the police have arrested two of the killers, I had to go as a way of showing my support to the family of the one that I knew. I am friends with two of her siblings on Facebook, so I shared the flyer that had been posted on their pages just to make sure that they knew about it.

 I showed up and was the first one there. It was about 20 minuted before it was suppose to start, and I didn’t see anyone else around. I began to wonder if it was going to happen, and then said to myself that since I was not far from where it happened, I would walk over and just look and say some prayers. After a few minutes of standing there, a guy walked up to me and asked me if I was there for the rally. It was a comfort, as I knew it was going to happen. Then within minutes more and more people showed up.

 We gathered together and were about to start with prayers when I looked up to see her father come across the street with one of her brothers. I spoke up and said something, and they entered the prayer circle that we had. He introduced himself and grabbed one of the signs that had been brought, as he was going to join us.

 After we prayed, I walked up to the father and introduced myself and told him how I knew his daughter. Even though his son was with him, I think that it helped in knowing that there was someone there who knew his daughter.

 As time went by, another brother showed up who knew who I was, and we had a chance to talk. I hadn’t seen him in a few years, and it was good to catch up.

 We rallied about over and hour, then gathered back together and said more prayers. Her family that was there was given time to talk and they really appreciated that we could gather like this in the names of the two girls.

 Most people had left when her mom and sister showed up. They were upset that they had missed it, but they felt good and happy that it had occurred. Her mom and her sister gave me a big hug, and we were thrilled to see each other. We stood there and talked for a bit, then she asked me if I wanted to walk up to the memorial where the girls were killed, as she was going to walk up there. There was no way that I was not going to walk up there with them.

Corinna Castle cleans and looks over the memorial of the spot where her daughter Raquel was murdered

 We arrived there and I saw the two memorials across the street from each other, as they died across the street from each other. We stopped for a quick minute at her memorial then crossed over to the other one. I watched as she cleaned up around the spot, and a small feeling of the pain that she and the family was going through came into in mind. After a few minutes we went back across the street to where her daughter died, and it was really hard to watch as she cleaned the the area. I looked into her eyes and saw the pain that she was going through as she busy cleaned. It was hard to watch, as this was something that no parent should be doing. I was wishing that the killers were there to look into her eyes as she fought back the tears. I wished that the killers were there to see the pain that this family was going though. I wished that the killers where there to explain there actions to the family. I wished that the killers were there as a reminder of what they did.

 Now I know that we have this Constitutional Right to have weapons, but for this and the other killings that have happened throughout the country is not what the writers wanted to see happen in my view. I think that they felt it was necessary for people to have guns in order to defend this country, to be able to go out and hunt for the food that they needed to eat, and to be able to defend ones self from attacks from wild animals, but not for going out and killing people in the ways that are becoming more and more common throughout this country.

 What need to we really need for the types of assault weapons that are in people’s hands now? How many people really go out and use and assault weapon to hunt?

 At a press conference not long ago, the National Rifle Association (NRA) talked about how the schools should have armed people in and protecting the schools from things like this happening again. When I was in High School many years ago, we had police in the school and still I saw students with guns, and from what I understand, at the some of the schools where mass killing have occurred there were armed police and/or security.

 I have heard people say, “What kind of God would let children be killed like this?” As much as I hated for this to happen, I think that some of the answers are simply, “A God who wants for us to wake up and see the things that we do to each other.”, “A God who needs a way for us to remember that we need to treat each other like we would want to be treated.”, and there are so many other answers that can be brought forth. But sadly this comes at a cost to Loving Parents throughout the world.

 Raquel, your family misses you and they always will. May prayer is that you and Bobbie are in Heaven together being there for each other and are watching over your families and will bring them as much comfort as you can.

It’s All About ME

I find it amazing the number of people who just think about themselves, and who they seem to be. I am often surprised by people who I think are all about themselves and selfishness, but tend to be givers.

As I sit back and think about people that I have dealt with over the last say ten years, I am amazed at the number of people that are really “Wolves in Sheep clothing”. I guess that it is because I have been involved a lot in church things during this time, it is amazing to me how many “Christians” are the wolves in such a way that one doesn’t seem to notice it until it is too late. Yeah some of them do mean well, but so many of them are doing so much harm to others that they are clueless. Oh bring it up to them, and they have their excuses. They lay the blame on others, and talk about all of the experience that they have, but the truth is that everything is about THEMSELVES wanting to be able to be able to boost their egos and their resumes.

Yeah I will admit that in ways I do it myself, but I am trying to do that less and less in my life. I may not be totally successful in doing it, but I’m trying. I will not say that I am trying my best, as I could be doing better, but I am trying and praying that I succeed.

I think that I have come to this because I have been thinking about some of the great people that have been in my life, like my parents, grandparents, relatives and friends who have lived their lives where things were not all about them.

I find it sad that we have to think about ourselves and what we want over others. We forget about what damage we do to others when we put our own needs first. I watch things like this over at a place that I go once a week, where people will lie to get more food for themselves not caring if others get some. Then we also get people that I know really don’t need the food, but only get one because it is free. But with some of these people who have lied to get two bags of food, will give a bag of food to others if they know that it is someone who is really in need. At a place where I go to afterward, they all will let me know of others elsewhere I should go to make sure that they are feed. One person that I usually give 2 bags two has pointed out other homeless people close by that she feels should also get a bag.

I also am surprised at the number of people that will say “Thank You”, or “God Bless You” when I give it to them. But with some where I would expect for them to say such words, they don’t.

But the ones that I think are the worse offenders of thinking about self, seem to present themselves as such great religious people. The Bible teaches us not to boast, but yet we seem to ignore that. We want for the world to know how great we are, and all of the wonderful things that we have done. The truth is that our true greatness is shown not when we boast about our greatness, but when we are no longer around and people then seem to notice and realize the amount of stuff and the things that we have done.

I have experienced over and over again people taking credit for the things that I have either done or come up with. I find it funny in that they do it to show others how great they are, but when they are asked to either duplicate what they have done, or asked about other things related to it, they seem to stumble. I have often thought about coming up with an idea that I know will fail horrible, that I know someone will want to take the credit for the idea for, and watch what happens when it blows up in their face. Oh I am sure that they will have a billion excuses as to why they shouldn’t be blamed, and how it was really someone elses idea, but I won’t because I really don’t want to see those that they could hurt get hurt.

I sit and watch as those with the ego fulfillment need go in and change things in places where they know very little about and force their wants and desires over those who have been there. I watch as those who basically know where the “bodies are buried” and the knowledge of the history of things leave and go elsewhere to bring forth ideas that blossom for other places, where it could of really blossomed where they had been if asked.

I find it so sad to hear people sit and talk about those with the ego needs get talked about behind their backs, and are looked up as a joke and to be avoided.

But I know that at times I can be one of those with the ego problem. If I have done something to you that came out of my own selfishness that has hurt you, let me know what I did so that I can try not to do it in the future, but also expect for you to listen to me also if you have hurt me in some way.

Do Polls Really Matter?

 Most likely by the time that you read this, you will have voted and the election is over. Who has won and lost has been decided. Even though we won’t have to really deal with people who have announced that they are running for the position, people will be trying to position themselves to become the next nominee for the job, and in about 2 years we will begin to hear more about people who are planning on running.

But there is something that I am really hoping will happen by the time we get into the final stages of the election will be that someone will do a poll that has a fish having a better chance of winning the election over those running. Seriously, I think that it would be interesting to see what all of the pundits would have to say.

I’ve tired of hearing about polls, as I truly believe that they aren’t really reliable and actually have way too much power in an election. Because the press keeps pushing polls, I think that they influence how people vote and people really don’t pay attention to what the people who are running for office really have to say on what they plan on doing if elected.

 Imagine after all of the polls are talked about for the vote to be so far from what the polls have said. Oh I am sure that it has happened in the past, but if asked I am sure that the press would have all kinds of excuses as to why it was wrong, but then again I would guess that they would simple change the topic and not answer as to why they were wrong.

Why should we really care about what the polls have to say? Why and how does a poll really help someone decide how to vote if they haven’t bothered to pay any attention to what the candidate have said they will do in office if elected? Isn’t just paying attention and voting as the polls go making us a non-thinking society?

We as a society seem to rely way too much on polls, when in reality the only poll that really counts when things are over is the way that people vote in the end. I hope that you have or will go out and vote, and I really don’t care who you vote for, but vote for the people that you feel will represent YOU in the position.

What do you think?

The Morals Of Today

I guess that it may have to do with my upbringing, but I am wondering what has happened to the way that I was brought up, but I am really beginning to wonder what has happened to the morals that we once had in this country?
I remember as a child we would have to do such things as apologize when we did wrong, speak softly while we are in a library, not blast music at all kinds of late night hours, watch the language that we used and so much more. But lately it seems as though so much of the morals that we had at one time is now gone.
I was riding a bus not to long ago, when a guy got onto the bus and took a seat that faced the aisle. Nothing unusual or wrong about it, but then he proceeded to stretch his legs out ago the aisle, and as people would come up him, he wouldn’t bother to bring them back so that they could get by without having to worry if they were going to trip and fall over. He finally did pull his legs back when someone with a baby stroller rang into his legs.
What is nice about riding BART in San Francisco during the commute times is that people will get into lines to board the trains. What people will also do is to step aside (but still move up) if the train isn’t the one that they want, in order to let those who are boarding get on. I find it funny at times that there are some people who will try and break through the ones who have stepped aside in order to board, and often the ones who have stepped aside will say something letting the person know that they need to get into line. Most will then get into the back of the line, but others will pretend that they don’t understand English and try to get through anyway.
As I write this, I am sitting in a library and there are a couple of guys show are speaking very loudly. They are in the DVD section, and one of them is speaking loudly trying to find a DVD, as he puts it, “showing animals eating each other.” The other one points out the film “The Color Purple” and the other one says that he “doesn’t want to watch any films with Colored People in it.” There is a very attractive young lady sitting not far from me, and we look at each other and laugh a the guys comment. I am also hearing people talk who are about half way tot he other end of the library. Now I don’t mind people talking in the library, but when they are talking in a low voice.
Lately one of the local drug dealing gangs has decided that they want to do there trade in front of the building that I live in. Oddly enough I don’t mind it much (even though there is a nice empty spot right up the street where I think that they would actually get neighborhood support if they were there,) but I kind of think of them as the neighborhood protection, as they have actually prevented crimes from happening. My landlord is a frail lady, and when she comes down to walk her dog, if they don’t walk with her, they walk not to far behind her to make sure that nobody bothers her.
But lately they have gathered around 9pm until 2am or so talking loudly and/or blasting their music. It wouldn’t bother me if they did it every once in a while, but it has gotten to be almost a daily thing. At one point it was daily, but I think that someone just had a baby, and the father is the uncle of one of the guys and came out and reached into the car and turned the music down. The person’s whose car it is got upset, and an argument took place. I had to laugh when it came to the argument, as one of them threatened to call the police on the other. Since that time I have noticed when they do get into arguments about certain things, they will threaten to call the police on each other.
I have also noticed more people cussing in everyday language. Now it is not often that I will swear, but I find it amazing at how dumb people sound when they do it. As I was walking home the other night, some kids swore at his father. I don’t think that my parents have ever heard me use a swear word, and even today I couldn’t swear at them. Now I don’t put the entire blame on parents on this, but on Hollywood, as they try as often as possible to put as much swearing into television show, movies, music and other forms of entertainment as possible. I find it funny at all of the youth that I hear who basically are trying to be the next big “Hip-Hop/Rap” star, but all of the lyrics that they say are full of cussing. They don’t seem to understand that if a radio station were to play their stuff, most of their stuff would get bleeped out.
I have also noticed so much more in churches how manners seem to be falling away. I have watched (and have experienced) others come up with ideas only to have them stolen and claimed by others. I just had this happen not long ago (again,) and I think that I will have to put out ideas from time to time that I know will be “stolen”, but I know will fail in the end making the other person look really stupid. Oh sure they will try to lay the blame on me, but people’s boosting will only hurt them in the end.
Oh I can go on and on, and I am sure that you too can add stories yourself, but what has happen to Manners in this country and throughout the world? Why is it that women seem get shocked when I hold a door open, or give up a seat for them on a bus? Why it is that people just can’t stand in a line in order to do things in an orderly and faster matter? When did we forget to “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?”
But most importantly, think to yourself and ask yourself in what ways you can have better manners and morals? I would love to read what you have to say in the comments below…

The Voice

In blog is an answer to a question that was asked of me due to something that I had said on Facebook. What I said was “If you could ask me one question, that I would give the total truthful answer to, what would that question be?” Someone asked me why I disliked my voice.

I find that most people really don’t like the sound of their voice when they hear it, and I am very much like that. For me, my voice doesn’t sound like I imagine the way that it sounds. I know that sounds strange, but that is how it is for me. I honestly can’t tell you how I think that it would sound, but when I hear it, it is much different.

I also don’t care for my voice because it puts me in a place that I don’t like, and that is being noticed. Most people like to stand out and be recognized, and in some ways I am the same way, but in many ways I like to be in the background or behind the scenes.

The first time that I can recall where my voice became something that people paid attention to happened when I was around 9 or 10 when I was accused of saying something, which I don’t think that I said but very well could of said, and a teacher and mom pointed out that when I talked, people would actually stop and listen. (Yeah I know, “When Clinton Speaks, everybody listens.”) I was going to a school where they would pick me up everyday in a van, and they told me to actually listen to what would happen when I spoke. I just knew that they didn’t know what they were talking about, but I figured that I would give it a try. Over the next few days I said very little on the ride, as I wasn’t sure if it was something that they had told the other students to do, and I figured that if I waited a few days then the others would of forgotten what they were told to do. About a week went by and I then remembered what was told to me, and I figured that it would be a great time to give it try. I struck up a conversation with one of the other students while still paying attention to the sounds of the others as we rode along. Sure enough, people became more and more quiet along and were paying attention to what I was saying. Now I don’t think that the conversation had anything to do with something that was quiet important, but the others listened like what I had to say was super important. This became interesting to me, as it made me wonder if they were really interested in what I had to say. I had to think deeply about this. I needed to come up with something that I knew would come back to me in someway and I knew it wouldn’t of come from someone else. I had to come up with a lie, but one that wouldn’t hurt anybody. I think that I spent a week thinking about what to say, and sure enough I knew what could be said.
One of the great things growing up that happened was the fact that my parents encouraged us kids to read, but it wasn’t by just putting a book in front of us and telling us to read it, but they lead by example by reading books themselves. The next time that my mom took us to the library, I looked through the books to find something that I would find interesting to read. I came across some book, and I skimmed through it. It looked interesting, but a choose another book that looked good to read when we left. The next time I got into the van, I asked someone what they had done since I last saw them, and they told me. I told them about this book, and acted like I had just started reading it and how good it was. Everyone listened and some said that they wanted to read the book also. Someone asked me to bring it and that we could read it out loud as we went back and forth to school. For a quick second I thought that I was caught, but I then said that I had to return the book back that night. When the van came the next day, I got in and the driver\teacher turned and handed me a copy of the book saying that he bought it so that we could read it while we traveled. I knew then that they were right in that people would listen to me when I spoke.

Over time I would pay attention as I spoke, and I noticed it happening in all kinds of situations, and it bothered me. A friend of mine mentioned my voice one day as he had noticed the same thing, and I asked them to explain it to me. They said that it was just something about the sound of my voice that they really couldn’t explain. I found myself talking less and less, and the sound of my voice is something that I paid attention to and found that it didn’t sound the way that I thought that it sounded.

While I was going through high school, several teachers said that I should be on the radio because of my voice, as they enjoyed listening to me speak. Ugh, the last thing that I really wanted was to be working a job where people would be listening to the thing that I really began to dislike. Now these teachers weren’t the first to say that to me, as I had heard the same thing from someone while I was in middle school from a couple of teachers.

During high school there was a girl I had some classes with who liked me, and I liked her. We were talking one day, and she mentioned my voice. I asked her about it. She said it was my voice that she really liked, as it was so deep and sounded sexy. She then said that it wasn’t my looks or anything else that caused her to like me, but it was my voice. Now this might sound stupid to some, but that really hurt me to hear. In the way that she said it, I knew that if I wanted to get her into bed I could easily do it, but even as a horny teen I knew that I wanted more than just sex in a relationship, and knew that if some slick guy came along with the looks and more, she would be jumping in bed with him and basically just keeping me around as backup if things didn’t work there. I didn’t and still don’t want to be the “Back Up Plan and Desire”, I wanted and still want to be the one a woman desires as I only desire to be with her.

Over time I learned how to us my voice to get what I want at times, but I knew that it was and is wrong of me to take advantage of things to get what I want and hurt others.

Over the internet I have met a number of people, and one night I talked to someone that I had met online. Now I don’t recall how she managed to hear my voice, but she stated referring to me as Chef, as she said that I sounded alike like the character on the tv show South Park. Oh it came back to my voice again, UGH!!! Now I knew that nothing would ever happen between us, as she was (and still is) very happily married.
I went into some video chat rooms and from time to time the host would want to bring my on camera with them. What I would often hear is about is how much they loved me voice. If people would be in the room who had heard me saw that I was there, sure enough they would request that I be put on the show also just so that they could hear my voice. At one place, the women would refer to me as “Big Sexy” after one of them said that is what I sounded like, and in fact to this day still calls me “Big Sexy”. But what I suddenly realized was they these women would want to hear my voice while they “lusted” for another guy in the room, so I stopped allowing people to bring my voice up.

But this voice thing has surfaced again over the last 6 months or so. Someone said that they would love to hear me do a podcast where I would just talked, as they liked my voice. I jokenly asked what I would talk about, and she replied that I could talk about chairs or other stuff, it was that she enjoyed listening to me talk and my voice, and that I could make anything sound interesting. So as a joke, I did a podcast where I had pulled up the history of chairs in Wikipedia and read it. Not only did she like it, but several others commented on how much they enjoyed it. I would never think that anyone would have interest in hearing someone talk about the history of chairs…
Not long ago, someone I know was trying to do a live video show somewhere, and she was having trouble doing it. Somehow she had muted herself, but someone mentioned that they could hear me. She finally got herself unmuted and I said something. She started laughing, and said something to the effect that I sounded like Chef from South Park. The thing is, she had met me face-to-face about a year ago, so she knows exactly what I sound like in person…
I don’t think that my voice would bother me so much, but it seems to be the one thing that people seem to get stuck on with me. At times I understand women when they feel as though they are looked upon as a piece of meat, but in my cause it seems as though I am just looked upon as just a voice…

OK Phyllis, I hope that this answers your question as to why I don’t like my voice.

Thinking Outside Of The Box

 I find it amazing the number of people that I hear who talk about “Thinking Outside Of The Box” who in reality really don’t, as they are so far into sticking to there comfort zone that they really don’t see it. After watching the video that I posted of a talk given by Bryn Drescher, I am beginning to realize how much I also do that myself. Maybe it’s age or something else, I don’t know. But over the last few days I have been trying my best to step outside of my box as much as possible.

 Ever since I had my first website, each site has pretty much been the same in many ways. Yeah I have built them from the ground up, but I never really have taken them a step further, as to do so would mean that I would have to step outside of my comfort zone and let people know more about me than I wanted them to know. Some people knew some things about me, while other people knew other things. The sad thing is that the people who think that they know me the best (outside of family and people that have known me all of my life,) are so clueless as to who I am. Oh they think that they have figured me out, but how little do they know.

 The other day I decided to make a change, and that is with my personal website. I actually went and changed it to a different format. I have actually posted some of my poetry and short stories, and have written more about myself than I have ever before. I really like the fact that I stepped outside of how I had been making sites, and am really pleased with what I have put together. Now all that I need to do is to take even further steps with my web design.

 The one thing that I haven’t done ever since I have lived in the area that I do is to have a library card. I had been stopping by the library quite often lately, and today I finally got a library card. When I got the card I did something that I have rarely done, and that was to flirt with someone that I found really attractive. Now she isn’t as attractive as a certain someone, but I stepped outside of my comfort zone to do it.

 As I walked back form the library, I began to wonder how some people really survive and feel good about themselves when they basically refuse to step outside of their zone? I know a person who finds it impossible to admit that they errored and will even blame their upbringing and parents, along with any other excuse to the can think of instead of simply apologizing for their action(s). I really pity this person, as they have driven people away from them who have ended up talking with others who could have a major effect on their future. I am at the point where I am simply going to let them continue to dig their own grave. They talk about stepping outside of comfort zones, but yet they stay in it themself.

 But I am going to try my best to live as much as I can outside of my comfort zone. I am going to do this by being the person who drives my life and not let others drive it for me. I, through the help of the Holy Trinity, am going to do what is best for me. Oh I am sure that some people will say that I have changed, but it will be because I am no longer allowing them to drive my life in the way that they thing that it should go, as it is time for them to take a look at their own life.